There I was with my pants down, squatting on a floor-level aluminum toilet hole, holding on to the rail for my dear life while the train was swaying wrecklessly from side to side... I was thinking "Lord, why do you put me in shitty situations like this?!? Give me other life challenges... but not this one pleeeease."
So how did I get myself in this mess?
A plane ride from Kunming to Beijing would have costed me US$350. The train costed me only 35$. The entire trip took 38 hours. It would have been bearable if I was able to book the sleeper (bed) but unfortunately by the time I lined up in the train station to buy my ticket, the next available sleeper would be in 2 weeks. I have to leave the following day so I took what was available -- the "hard seat."
It couldn't be that bad I thought, with the trains in Europe as my reference. Little did I realize that my train would be similar to a KTM train (in Malaysia) or the PNR train going to Bicol (in the Philippines)! I bought a few cups of noodles, a few liters of water, some bread and muffins. If there is no decent restaurant in the train, at least I have some reserved food. One big mistake though, I induldged myself in a hotel buffet dinner just before my 9PM departure from Kunming. So what would you expect, what comes in must come out. But I was hoping that I could hold off the coming out for 38 hours. Of course I was unrealistically optimistic!
It was the longest and the worst train ride I've ever had in my life. For 38 hours I was sandwiched between two strangers in a bench good for 2 persons. The coach was overloaded with people standing in the aisle and in every available space you could find. For a 38-hour train ride I can't imagine anybody not having his/her own reserved seat but as I was told -- this is how it is in China.
The aircon felt like it was set at 28 degrees. It was very noisy the whole time and no one could speak English at all. It sounded as if I was in the middle of Divisoria with all the shouting but this time in high-pitched Chinese!
I woke up around 3AM feeling disoriented and my body aching and my butt numb because I haven't changed my body position for 5 hours -- I was sandwiched between two smelly strangers. To my horror, I saw people sleeping all over in every possible position. It looked as if the train crashed and snoring bodies are scattered all over. Underneath our bench, there was an old lady curled and snoring. With extreme difficulty I inched my way to the toilet stepping on people's heads, hands, feet, and bodies. When I opened the toilet door, I was surprised to see somebody sleeping on top of the tiny sink!
I really did my best but by the 12th hour of my ordeal what went in my stomach the night before started to demand to be let out. I tried to rationalize with myself but I had 26 more hours to go. And so, armed with 10 pieces of kleenex, I went for the ultimate sacrifice...
It was hard. I was worried that my cell phone might fall off. I had to make it as quick as I can (so that it won't be obvious) knowing that 15 other people are lining up outside. I had to make sure that I hit the bulls-eye and that "things" won't splatter around as the train dangerously shakes from left to right. I had to make sure that I hanged on to the railing really tight or it will be the end of my remaining self-esteem.
Apparently, I survived! In fact, I think I came out of that toilet (and that train) a lot better and stronger as a person. If I survived that... what else is there in life that I can't handle! Toilets can indeed drastically transform persons...
